Lessons learned
With blogging about my job I just thought I would share with you some scriptures and lessons that Jesus is teaching me through this trial. I'll start with the following:
PROVERBS 15:18
hot-tempered man stirs up strife,
But the slow to anger calms a dispute
My boss tends to fly off the handle a real lot and I am vastly learning that if I respond calmly that things go much better than my fleshly desire to get defensive.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
This is what God was really been revealing to me. I am very weak emotional at work, and cannot take the pressure sometimes. I make mistakes a lot which is unexcusable to my boss. God has revealed to me that this weakness that I have is that His grace is sufficient for me for His strenght is perfected in my weakness, thereofore I will boast of my weakness in my job so that Christs power might rest in me!
And another:
Romans 12:19
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"[a]says the Lord.
God is showing me that through the injustice at work that I should not take revenge. It would be very easy to call the Union on certain violations and or the State on such things as people not taking lunch, etc. But I forgo this because I really sense that Jesus would rather be the one doing the judging instead.
Matthew 5:40-41
40And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.
This means that I must do overtime even though I do not want to, even to the point of going up and beyond what is asked. My flesh recoils this but this is God's will for me I know.
1 Thessalonians
17pray continually 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Another hard one, to give thanks in the trials that I am having? That is really hard!
Ephesians 4:31
31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
1 Thessalonians 5:15-18
15Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.
16Be joyful always;17pray continually;18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Now this is one that God has really been working on me and changing me with. I need to have a positive attitude at work and not a bitter one. This is another thing that my bosses sighted me on.
And finally Jesus reminded me of this:
Romans 8:38-39
38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
The bottom line is while I still have a lot of challenges, God has really changed my heart!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
What Goes Around Comes Around
Back in 2001, I had a very tyrannical boss. He used to yell at you with very little and no warning and would really tear into you verbally. He had a rage problem and had no qualms about using that against people.
He yelled at me for 2 hours straight one day saying how my mom would wish that I was never born, and that everyone at the job hated me, and that I was no good at my job, etc.
This really affected me adversely. He had me make a commitment to either just leave, give my notice with my intention to leave, or be committed to working there for 6 months, and warned me not to burn him at all.
I had hyper-ventilating anxiety attacks until I made a decision to stay. Simple fact of the matter, I used my logic being a man of my word over my mental health. This really wore on me and basically destroyed me mentally.
About one year later, when he "screamed" at the CTO for something very stupid and immediately fired him, I could not take it no more. I immediately went to lunch and when I came back from lunch, I was still quite shaken up, and he didn't even direct his anger towards me at all!
That Sunday I went to church and told them of my peril and with their blessing, gave my 2 weeks notice even though the economy was still quite horrible back in 2002. With both a blessing and prayer from my church, I ahead and gave my notice. My plan was to temp until I had a new job.
When it was about time for me to be leaving, I reminded them that Tuesday was my last day. As it turned out, my immediate supervisor was going on vacation the very next week and me leaving would put them in a big peril! They asked (begged) for me to stay and told me that they would pay me my remaining vacation time if I did, how generous!
As it turned out, by law they had to pay me my remaining vacation time anyway! Knowing that I was being manipulated, I said no I would not stay.
After that, I found it hard to find any place willing to give me an assignment for the minimum pay that I was looking for. Finally, after some more prayer with people, I found a new job but was feeling queezy about where I was going to be hired at.
None the less I needed a job and took the position. This did not work out very well for me in the beginning. Then I was placed a different location within the company and that was working out, that was until the firm that I was placed at voted themselves out of business. As a result I was laid off.
I ended up getting a part time position but was still very depressed from being laid off/angry, etc. That job the boss was passive/aggressive and that affected me negatively too, but it made me perfect my work ethic and skill and that was a good thing.
Then they were bought out by the company I work for now. To make a long story short, the boss that I have now is just like the one back in 2001, except not with the emotional/personal screaming attacks.
He blows up at you at the any littlest mistake that you make! Well, to make a long story short, this past week his last blow up short-circuited me. I have been highly stressed as it has been, but it is at the point now where I do not think I cannot work there anymore.
Yes, I know the economy is even worse now than it was back in 2001, but the simple fact of the matter is that I am on the verge of a meltdown. So I cannot realistically work there anymore as I will just be over my head with stress and be unable to function at all.
So that is my story now. I really do not know what the future holds, but I do know that Jesus is still in control of all of this even if I am asking "why?" So if you think of it, please pray for me that I get a new job and very quickly as I do not even see myself working there anymore at all, but know that I have to.
He yelled at me for 2 hours straight one day saying how my mom would wish that I was never born, and that everyone at the job hated me, and that I was no good at my job, etc.
This really affected me adversely. He had me make a commitment to either just leave, give my notice with my intention to leave, or be committed to working there for 6 months, and warned me not to burn him at all.
I had hyper-ventilating anxiety attacks until I made a decision to stay. Simple fact of the matter, I used my logic being a man of my word over my mental health. This really wore on me and basically destroyed me mentally.
About one year later, when he "screamed" at the CTO for something very stupid and immediately fired him, I could not take it no more. I immediately went to lunch and when I came back from lunch, I was still quite shaken up, and he didn't even direct his anger towards me at all!
That Sunday I went to church and told them of my peril and with their blessing, gave my 2 weeks notice even though the economy was still quite horrible back in 2002. With both a blessing and prayer from my church, I ahead and gave my notice. My plan was to temp until I had a new job.
When it was about time for me to be leaving, I reminded them that Tuesday was my last day. As it turned out, my immediate supervisor was going on vacation the very next week and me leaving would put them in a big peril! They asked (begged) for me to stay and told me that they would pay me my remaining vacation time if I did, how generous!
As it turned out, by law they had to pay me my remaining vacation time anyway! Knowing that I was being manipulated, I said no I would not stay.
After that, I found it hard to find any place willing to give me an assignment for the minimum pay that I was looking for. Finally, after some more prayer with people, I found a new job but was feeling queezy about where I was going to be hired at.
None the less I needed a job and took the position. This did not work out very well for me in the beginning. Then I was placed a different location within the company and that was working out, that was until the firm that I was placed at voted themselves out of business. As a result I was laid off.
I ended up getting a part time position but was still very depressed from being laid off/angry, etc. That job the boss was passive/aggressive and that affected me negatively too, but it made me perfect my work ethic and skill and that was a good thing.
Then they were bought out by the company I work for now. To make a long story short, the boss that I have now is just like the one back in 2001, except not with the emotional/personal screaming attacks.
He blows up at you at the any littlest mistake that you make! Well, to make a long story short, this past week his last blow up short-circuited me. I have been highly stressed as it has been, but it is at the point now where I do not think I cannot work there anymore.
Yes, I know the economy is even worse now than it was back in 2001, but the simple fact of the matter is that I am on the verge of a meltdown. So I cannot realistically work there anymore as I will just be over my head with stress and be unable to function at all.
So that is my story now. I really do not know what the future holds, but I do know that Jesus is still in control of all of this even if I am asking "why?" So if you think of it, please pray for me that I get a new job and very quickly as I do not even see myself working there anymore at all, but know that I have to.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
New Job Update
I first put in an application 6 months ago which led to a phone interview.
Never made it beyond that stage
2 months ago I applied again and got an in-person interview
they decided to close that position and not hire anyone, but called me to tell me so and informed me of another position that was available instead
interviewed there, it went ok
then they called me a few days later to consider a floater position
interviewed for that 2 weeks ago and it went great
they then asked me to do a drug screening
and jumped through a hoop to get that done
as of this past Wednesday, they still hadn't hired for either new position, however there is now yet another position that they now want me to interview for
called them yesterday to get a status update, but the recruiter was out of the office for the day
I will call again on Monday to see what is happening with it.
Never made it beyond that stage
2 months ago I applied again and got an in-person interview
they decided to close that position and not hire anyone, but called me to tell me so and informed me of another position that was available instead
interviewed there, it went ok
then they called me a few days later to consider a floater position
interviewed for that 2 weeks ago and it went great
they then asked me to do a drug screening
and jumped through a hoop to get that done
as of this past Wednesday, they still hadn't hired for either new position, however there is now yet another position that they now want me to interview for
called them yesterday to get a status update, but the recruiter was out of the office for the day
I will call again on Monday to see what is happening with it.
Bono Fatigue, It Can Happen To U2 and commentary
Bono Fatigue, It Can Happen To U2
I came across the above website recently and it inspired me to write my thoughts on the band U2.
U2 was first introduced to the USA in November of 1980. Very few stations were playing them back then and while they did get support from a then popular station here in Boston (WBCN), I was not know who they were until 1983.
The local Top 40 station added New Years Day to the playlist. While I thought that the song was ok, I was less than enthused about the band on the whole.
In the Fall of '83, my neighborhood got cable TV for the first time and the video Two Hearts Beat As One was in heavy rotation on MTV. I did like that song.
In 1984, they released Under A Blood Red Sky and had the live performance video for Sunday Bloody Sunday at Red Rocks in Colorado. This became a favorite of mine.
Next up was the Unforgettable Fire album and the single Pride (in the name of love). This also vastly became a very favorite of mine as well.
In '87 after a long vast wait, The Joshua Tree was released. This skyrocketed the band into superstar stardom! It was one awesome album and well worth the wait!
Some say the demise of U2 started around then when Rattle and Hum was released, however I believe it started about the time Zooropa was released. Pop mart was a bomb. By the time All That You Cannot Leave Behind came out, while a good CD, U2 saturation had now occured.
Now it seems like everyone loves U2, but I think that they are too big and too commercial for their own good. Their latest songs from their latest CD has me less than enthused and radio regularly "overplays" Sunday Bloody Sunday, New Years Day, Where The Streets Have No Name, With or Without You, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, Mysterious Ways, Pride (in the name of love), The Sweetest Thing, etc, etc.
I used to enjoy the bands music, however believe the bands time has past and it is time for the band to retire and hand the torch over to the next generation instead.
Does anyone else feel this way at all?
I came across the above website recently and it inspired me to write my thoughts on the band U2.
The local Top 40 station added New Years Day to the playlist. While I thought that the song was ok, I was less than enthused about the band on the whole.
In the Fall of '83, my neighborhood got cable TV for the first time and the video Two Hearts Beat As One was in heavy rotation on MTV. I did like that song.
In 1984, they released Under A Blood Red Sky and had the live performance video for Sunday Bloody Sunday at Red Rocks in Colorado. This became a favorite of mine.
Next up was the Unforgettable Fire album and the single Pride (in the name of love). This also vastly became a very favorite of mine as well.
In '87 after a long vast wait, The Joshua Tree was released. This skyrocketed the band into superstar stardom! It was one awesome album and well worth the wait!
Some say the demise of U2 started around then when Rattle and Hum was released, however I believe it started about the time Zooropa was released. Pop mart was a bomb. By the time All That You Cannot Leave Behind came out, while a good CD, U2 saturation had now occured.
Now it seems like everyone loves U2, but I think that they are too big and too commercial for their own good. Their latest songs from their latest CD has me less than enthused and radio regularly "overplays" Sunday Bloody Sunday, New Years Day, Where The Streets Have No Name, With or Without You, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, Mysterious Ways, Pride (in the name of love), The Sweetest Thing, etc, etc.
I used to enjoy the bands music, however believe the bands time has past and it is time for the band to retire and hand the torch over to the next generation instead.
Does anyone else feel this way at all?
Saturday, August 22, 2009
When despite your best effort, things do not go as planned
As some of you know already, I have been unhappy with my job. This is not a shock to anyone, but anyway. Within the past 2 weeks, I got contacted from a employer who I had applied for about 6 months ago. The call came pretty much out of the blue!
This past week I interviewed for a position that would be in effect a promotion for me. While I have mastered the technical skills required for the job, there were 2 things that concerned me that would not make me such a good fit.
The first one being delegating tasks. While I do really good at juggling things that need to get done, delegating anything to other people has almost always been my weak point. Usually when I delegate I am greeted with an attitude from the person who I am asking and it doesn't always get done. I usually just find it much easier to do it myself instead.
The second being a people person. While I do get along with people and do have excellent customer service skills, I never really considered myself a people person at all. Those who know me online might find that as a shock.
Those who know me in person and who have talked to me on the phone know otherwise. Now don't get me wrong, it isn't that I can't be friendly and carry on a conversation with people, its just that when dealing with clients it can be stressful at times.
I have another interview with the same company for a floater position on Monday too. The company seems so interested in me that they decided to just go ahead and schedule me a pre-employment drug screening test.
While I think that taking a drug test for a job is rather stupid, I understand why the company such as the one that I applied for requires one. When I spoke to the recruiter on Thursday she said that the labs are open on the weekend and I could go there on a Saturday if I chose.
While I received the confirmation email for the paperwork and locations that I could go to on Thursday, I was so busy and distracted that I did not end up looking at it all until very early this morning. Much to my surprise, none of the locations where in or in the immediate area of Boston. The closest locations were 20 miles outside of the city!
Since I do not have access to a car, this made things interesting, I had to figure out how I was gonna get out there via public transportation and back. I looked up the locations on Google maps, looked at the train schedules and devised my plan. Since I was up anyway, I would just hope on the Commuter Rail Train earlier in the morning. I just needed to print all my paperwork so I was prepared.
The buses to the Rapid Transit Subway run every 20 minutes from my apartment on Saturdays. I decided that at 7:30, I would start planning to get things in order, getting ready for a bus that leaves :49 after the hour.
I go print my paperwork, check and I am getting ready to go when I realize, the bus doesn't leave at :49 after the hour, but :39 after the hour instead, I almost always seem to get that confused! So here I am suddenly scrambling to get it all together and out the door in time!
I grad everything and I am now on my way! I did not have time to check if all my paperwork was there or not and just grabbed everything and went out the door instead. While I was on the bus, I look at the papers that I have. Missing schedule to my destination. No big deal as I knew that the train was leaving at 8:45AM and that I still had plenty of time.
Then I am looking for the required paper for test, where is it? Its not there! Ok, I do not have enough time to go back to my apartment and reprint it so I improvise, I will just go to Kinkos/Fedex Office and print an extra copy instead.
I get out at the train station and go to the Kinkos at Government Center, closed. Ok, I will just go to Post Office Square instead, cutting it a little close now. As it turned out, also closed! One final effort, I will go to the library on the way and see if they are open and print it there, also closed!
Now I am kicking myself for not printing the paper. I make a calculated decision as to whether I should go without the paper in hand, and decide that would be a bad idea and that I will just need to reschedule. My thinking being that if they are really that interested in me that they will make the accommodation to reschedule the test instead.
Since I am Downtown now anyway, I decide to go for breakfast. While I am eating I am looking at my paperwork, the one that looked like was missing and realized that I did indeed print the correct form afterall, but my computer printed it at the equivalent of 1% its regular size, rendering it unreadable! As it turned out, because I use Google Chrome for my browser and not Internet Explorer, it printed it that way.
Now I believe in God's provision and that He sees things even through our limitations. So I will just have to wait and see what happens. I know that I should have been better with my organizational managing, however this has always been one of my weaknesses and I will just need to learn from my mistakes in the future.
Thank you for reading!
Blessings,
Mike
This past week I interviewed for a position that would be in effect a promotion for me. While I have mastered the technical skills required for the job, there were 2 things that concerned me that would not make me such a good fit.
The first one being delegating tasks. While I do really good at juggling things that need to get done, delegating anything to other people has almost always been my weak point. Usually when I delegate I am greeted with an attitude from the person who I am asking and it doesn't always get done. I usually just find it much easier to do it myself instead.
The second being a people person. While I do get along with people and do have excellent customer service skills, I never really considered myself a people person at all. Those who know me online might find that as a shock.
Those who know me in person and who have talked to me on the phone know otherwise. Now don't get me wrong, it isn't that I can't be friendly and carry on a conversation with people, its just that when dealing with clients it can be stressful at times.
I have another interview with the same company for a floater position on Monday too. The company seems so interested in me that they decided to just go ahead and schedule me a pre-employment drug screening test.
While I think that taking a drug test for a job is rather stupid, I understand why the company such as the one that I applied for requires one. When I spoke to the recruiter on Thursday she said that the labs are open on the weekend and I could go there on a Saturday if I chose.
While I received the confirmation email for the paperwork and locations that I could go to on Thursday, I was so busy and distracted that I did not end up looking at it all until very early this morning. Much to my surprise, none of the locations where in or in the immediate area of Boston. The closest locations were 20 miles outside of the city!
Since I do not have access to a car, this made things interesting, I had to figure out how I was gonna get out there via public transportation and back. I looked up the locations on Google maps, looked at the train schedules and devised my plan. Since I was up anyway, I would just hope on the Commuter Rail Train earlier in the morning. I just needed to print all my paperwork so I was prepared.
The buses to the Rapid Transit Subway run every 20 minutes from my apartment on Saturdays. I decided that at 7:30, I would start planning to get things in order, getting ready for a bus that leaves :49 after the hour.
I go print my paperwork, check and I am getting ready to go when I realize, the bus doesn't leave at :49 after the hour, but :39 after the hour instead, I almost always seem to get that confused! So here I am suddenly scrambling to get it all together and out the door in time!
I grad everything and I am now on my way! I did not have time to check if all my paperwork was there or not and just grabbed everything and went out the door instead. While I was on the bus, I look at the papers that I have. Missing schedule to my destination. No big deal as I knew that the train was leaving at 8:45AM and that I still had plenty of time.
Then I am looking for the required paper for test, where is it? Its not there! Ok, I do not have enough time to go back to my apartment and reprint it so I improvise, I will just go to Kinkos/Fedex Office and print an extra copy instead.
I get out at the train station and go to the Kinkos at Government Center, closed. Ok, I will just go to Post Office Square instead, cutting it a little close now. As it turned out, also closed! One final effort, I will go to the library on the way and see if they are open and print it there, also closed!
Now I am kicking myself for not printing the paper. I make a calculated decision as to whether I should go without the paper in hand, and decide that would be a bad idea and that I will just need to reschedule. My thinking being that if they are really that interested in me that they will make the accommodation to reschedule the test instead.
Since I am Downtown now anyway, I decide to go for breakfast. While I am eating I am looking at my paperwork, the one that looked like was missing and realized that I did indeed print the correct form afterall, but my computer printed it at the equivalent of 1% its regular size, rendering it unreadable! As it turned out, because I use Google Chrome for my browser and not Internet Explorer, it printed it that way.
Now I believe in God's provision and that He sees things even through our limitations. So I will just have to wait and see what happens. I know that I should have been better with my organizational managing, however this has always been one of my weaknesses and I will just need to learn from my mistakes in the future.
Thank you for reading!
Blessings,
Mike
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