What Goes Around Comes Around

Back in 2001, I had a very tyrannical boss. He used to yell at you with very little and no warning and would really tear into you verbally. He had a rage problem and had no qualms about using that against people.

He yelled at me for 2 hours straight one day saying how my mom would wish that I was never born, and that everyone at the job hated me, and that I was no good at my job, etc.

This really affected me adversely. He had me make a commitment to either just leave, give my notice with my intention to leave, or be committed to working there for 6 months, and warned me not to burn him at all.

I had hyper-ventilating anxiety attacks until I made a decision to stay. Simple fact of the matter, I used my logic being a man of my word over my mental health. This really wore on me and basically destroyed me mentally.

About one year later, when he "screamed" at the CTO for something very stupid and immediately fired him, I could not take it no more. I immediately went to lunch and when I came back from lunch, I was still quite shaken up, and he didn't even direct his anger towards me at all!

That Sunday I went to church and told them of my peril and with their blessing, gave my 2 weeks notice even though the economy was still quite horrible back in 2002. With both a blessing and prayer from my church, I ahead and gave my notice. My plan was to temp until I had a new job.

When it was about time for me to be leaving, I reminded them that Tuesday was my last day. As it turned out, my immediate supervisor was going on vacation the very next week and me leaving would put them in a big peril! They asked (begged) for me to stay and told me that they would pay me my remaining vacation time if I did, how generous!

As it turned out, by law they had to pay me my remaining vacation time anyway! Knowing that I was being manipulated, I said no I would not stay.

After that, I found it hard to find any place willing to give me an assignment for the minimum pay that I was looking for. Finally, after some more prayer with people, I found a new job but was feeling queezy about where I was going to be hired at.

None the less I needed a job and took the position. This did not work out very well for me in the beginning. Then I was placed a different location within the company and that was working out, that was until the firm that I was placed at voted themselves out of business. As a result I was laid off.

I ended up getting a part time position but was still very depressed from being laid off/angry, etc. That job the boss was passive/aggressive and that affected me negatively too, but it made me perfect my work ethic and skill and that was a good thing.

Then they were bought out by the company I work for now. To make a long story short, the boss that I have now is just like the one back in 2001, except not with the emotional/personal screaming attacks.

He blows up at you at the any littlest mistake that you make! Well, to make a long story short, this past week his last blow up short-circuited me. I have been highly stressed as it has been, but it is at the point now where I do not think I cannot work there anymore.

Yes, I know the economy is even worse now than it was back in 2001, but the simple fact of the matter is that I am on the verge of a meltdown. So I cannot realistically work there anymore as I will just be over my head with stress and be unable to function at all.

So that is my story now. I really do not know what the future holds, but I do know that Jesus is still in control of all of this even if I am asking "why?" So if you think of it, please pray for me that I get a new job and very quickly as I do not even see myself working there anymore at all, but know that I have to.